


Distance Around the World

by LtTanyaBoone



Category: Pan Am
Genre: F/M, Future Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-31
Updated: 2012-09-27
Packaged: 2017-11-15 04:11:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/522997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LtTanyaBoone/pseuds/LtTanyaBoone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After spending six months looking for her brother, Colette returns to Pan Am and she and Dean navigate their relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After six months of looking for her brother, Colette meets her friends again.

**Disclaimers:** Pan Am, the rights to the show and its characters do not belong to me. No money was made by this.  
 **Spoilers:** everything  
 **Pairings:** Colette/Dean, Kate/Richard  
 **Rating:** FRT

* * *

 

Kate took off her sunglasses and looked down the street, furrowing her brows. She could have sworn that it was here. While Paris was constantly changing, she recognized the buildings, even if the shops in them were different now. This wasn’t good, this wasn’t good at all.

“Is everything alright?” Laura asked her sister, giving the older Cameron a worried look.

“Uh, sure. Why do you ask?” Kate wondered, frowning lightly.

“You keep looking around, as if you’re searching for something.” the blond woman responded, furrowing her brows when she noticed her sister swallow.

“Oh.” Kate breathed, shaking her head. “No, I was just… I thought that there was a café at the end of the street where we could sit down for a while. I must remember it wrong, though. Or it closed; it’s been a while since we were in Paris.”

“How often have you been here already?” the new addition to their crew, Claire, asked. Well, if you could still call her new; she had, after all, been flying with them for six months now, ever since Dean was suspended and Colette took her leave of absence to start looking for her brother.

Kate had never become much of a fan of Claire, even though she was sharing a room with the younger woman. They had decided early on that Claire and Maggie was a combination that wouldn’t do either woman any good and constituted a disaster waiting to happen. While she was willing to go out with them, Claire was a lot quieter than Colette, even when they were all together, and Kate found herself yearning for nights spent talking to each other and Colette’s positive outlook on life cheering her up when she was wondering why she was even bothering sometimes…

“Couple of times.” Maggie shrugged as she answered Claire’s question, frowning lightly in the direction Kate had mentioned. “And you aren’t remembering it wrong; we sat in that café six months ago. It’s a shame, it was a really cute little place.” the petite woman sighed.

Kate closed her eyes and clenched her hands. Drat, now the entire plan was not going to work. Why hadn’t either one of them bothered to check before making that plan in the first place? Well, granted, it wasn’t like Kate could have done anything to find out of the little place still existed, but still. It was the café Colette had brought her to, on her first visit to Paris, and it had made Kate fall in love with the city even more than she had already been.

“Well, if you still want to rest your feet, I’m sure we can find-”

“ _Excusez-moi?_ ” a voice sounded behind them and the group of Pan Am stewardesses turned around.

And in that moment, Colette wished she had a camera at hand, because the looks on her friends’ faces were simply priceless.

“Oh my gosh, you made it!” Kate was the first to collect herself and wrapped her arms around Colette, hugging her friend tightly as Laura bounced on her feet, clapping her hands while Maggie smiled widely.

“Ah _oui_ , I would not miss it for the world!” Colette exclaimed, holding on tightly before letting go of her friend so she could hug Laura and Maggie, too. Despite their previous differences, she had even missed the small woman in the six months she had been away.

“You knew she would be here?” Maggie asked, giving Kate a glare. The redhead shook her head.

“Well, okay, I knew that there was a possibility that we might see Colette.” she admitted reluctantly, feeling a tad bad about having kept the others in the dark about it.

“I did not know if I would manage to make it on time.” the French woman shook her head, finally realizing that there was a face she did not recognize. Though Claire had taken a step to the side and was trying her hardest to not be noticeable.

“And you must be Claire.” Colette smiled at her and the younger woman nodded.

“Yes.” she responded, shaking Colette’s hand. “The others told me about you.”

Colette raised an eyebrow in surprise, looking at her former co-workers.

“We had to tell her what shoes she had to fill.” Maggie shrugged.

“Big ones.” Claire nodded and the smile on her face suddenly appeared rather forced. The French woman suddenly felt bad about intruding. It had been six months since she had last seen them, things had changed and she was no longer a member of their crew.

“I am sorry; I am disrupting your tour of the city.” Colette apologized to the others, who quickly shook their heads.

“No, it’s fine. Plus, you know more than we all do combined. It’s Claire’s first stay here and we wanted to show her everything.” Laura gestured wildly, producing a check-list and a marked map that made Colette laugh.

“I’d suggest sitting down, but it seems like our little place has closed.”

“Yeah, it’s a shame.” Kate sighed, wrapping her arm around her friend and leaning into her briefly. “Do you know another one?” she asked, but before Colette could say something, Laura suggested a place near their hotel, which was fine with everyone.

* * *

“ _Parlez-vous francais?_ ” Colette asked Claire when the waiter placed their orders on the table. The other woman shook her head.

“Only a tiny bit, enough to order a coffee and say that I’m lost, but not enough to understand directions.” she admitted, blushing lightly.

“Claire speaks Russian and Spanish.” Kate supplied and Colette nodded at the unspoken information: they could converse in Italian and have the other stewardess be none the wiser.

“So, what brings you to Paris? Your last postcard was from… something with an F?” Maggie asked, sipping her coffee before digging into her pastry.

“Fronton.” Colette supplied, stirring milk into her cup. “And I am here because I have a ticket for a flight back to New York.” she answered, counting in her head how long it took them to realize what she was saying.

“You’re coming back?!” Laura almost shouted, making the other patrons start turning their heads in the direction of their table and earning herself a sharp reprimand from Kate. Colette had been writing the redhead through most of the summer, sending postcards to Laura and Maggie’s address, too. Though she had left out how her search was going with them. Even though she and Laura had gotten rather close, she still did not feel comfortable burdening the other woman with her problems, and Maggie had never been someone that Colette wanted to share her thoughts on most things with in the first place.

“ _Oui_.” Colette nodded, her eyes darting to the rather silent attachment to the group. Claire looked down into her lap before swallowing.

“So you found your brother?” Maggie asked and Colette felt Kate squeeze her hand below the table.

“ _Oui_. And I have been in correspondence with Pan Am and they are happy to have me back, so I am on the 5 o’clock flight tomorrow.”

“That’s ours.” Claire piped up, blushing lightly when the others stared at her.

“I was hoping.” Colette gave her a soft smile, looking at Kate in confusion when the redhead let go of her hand and shifted uncomfortably in her chair. “What’s wrong?” she asked, noticing how neither Maggie nor Laura were meeting her eyes either. “Kate?” she pressed and her friend swallowed, closing her eyes briefly.

“Dean.” she muttered before looking at Colette again. “He’s been re-instated, the New York-Paris was his first flight back as our captain.” she told her, giving her a sympathetic smile.

“Oh.” the French stewardess breathed, leaning back in her chair. She found that she was lucky she was already sitting down, now that she felt as if someone had pulled the rug out from under her. This had been the last thing that she had been thinking about; she hadn’t even considered the possibility of her ex-boyfriend already being back in the cockpit.

“Have you talked to him at all?” Laura asked gently and Colette shook her head slowly.

“No.” she responded, frowning lightly. “I told him I needed time, to find my brother, and myself. I needed to think, to figure out if this was what I wanted. I am sure he is mad at me.”

“Dean Lowrey? Our pilot?” Claire asked. Colette nodded slowly, thankful for Laura’s attempt to shift the topic.

“We were thinking of going out tonight. To this club you and Maggie mentioned, _La Placette_. Would you like to join us?” the blond woman asked. Colette hesitated.

“Who is ‘we’, exactly?” she asked carefully.

“Oh, don’t worry.” Maggie cut in, waving her hand around. “We asked him, but Dean seems to have something against that place, he pretty much ran out on us after we mentioned where we would be going. So he won’t be joining us. It’s just us girls and Sanjeev while Dean drags Richard from one bar to the next. Or never leaves the hotel, I don’t care.”

At the mention of the new First Officer of the Clipper Majestic, Laura suddenly gained an intense interest in her napkin and started tearing it apart meticulously, making Kate roll her eyes briefly as she regretted that she wasn’t sitting next to her sister. Laura had played cat-and-mouse with Ted for two months, calling in sick at first and then asking for a transfer to another crew so she would not have to work with the man that had suddenly decided that he was indeed going to marry his fiancée that had kissed Maggie. The others had gotten revenge by ignoring Ted unless it was job related, and the man had gotten the message in the third month, taking a short leave before getting assigned to another crew, which let Laura return to flying with her sister.

“ _Merci_ , but I am not too fond of the place, either.” Colette declined the invitation, a sad smile playing on her lips.

“That’s too bad.” Laura sighed, finishing her coffee. They all paid for their orders and slowly stood, Kate drawing a slow breath.

“Girls, how about you go on without me?” she asked the other three members of her crew. Laura stared at her sister in surprise.

“But you wanted to see the Seine!” she exclaimed and Kate sighed. Sometimes her sister could be really dense.

“I know and I’m really, really sorry, but I’m getting a headache. I just want to lie down and rest, in case I’m coming down with something.” the redhead explained, trying her best to look miserable.

“We can’t let you go back to the hotel on your own.” Maggie frowned.

“Ah, that’s okay. I can take her; I need to go that way, anyway.” Colette quickly offered when she caught on and Kate had to bite back the grin when Maggie gave them a knowing look.

“Well, feel better, Kate. We’ll see you on the flight, Colette.”

They said their goodbyes and Colette turned to her friend, tilting her head.

“You’re not actually getting sick, are you?” she asked and Kate threw up her hands.

“Look at that, headache’s gone. It’s a miracle.” she laughed, hooking her arm through Colette’s as they left the little café. “Do you want to go back to the hotel, so we can catch up?”

“Depends.” Colette shrugged. “What are the odds that I will see Dean?”

Kate sighed, bumping into her friend. “You’ll have to talk to him, sooner or later.”

“I know.” the French woman sighed as she reached up to rub her forehead. “It is just; I did not think I would see him again so soon. I have no idea what to say.” she admitted.

“How about _‘Did you have a nice summer?’_ ” Kate suggested teasingly and Colette rolled her eyes. “Aw, come on. He will be disappointed, perhaps, but he will understand. And if he doesn’t, well, plenty of other men around.”

“Like that Richard person?”Colette teased her when they crossed the street. Kate looked at her in surprise; stopping in the middle of the busy street and making people honk their horns at them.

“How do you know about Richard and me?” she asked, her voice catching in her throat. Colette gave a soft laugh and quickly pulled her onto the sidewalk, out of the path of the cars.

“I was making an educated guess, after losing count of the number of times you mentioned that man’s name in the last phone call.” she informed her friend, furrowing her brows when she heard Kate curse under her breath. “But perhaps that is already history?” she asked and her friend sighed, shaking her head.

“No, no, we… I don’t know.” Kate admitted, taking another turn at the corner and feeling Colette slow down when the hotel came into view. “It’s just, he travels. A lot.” she muttered.

“Sounds like the perfect thing, with your job.” Colette shrugged and Kate shook her head.

“Perfect? Yes, but only on paper. We rarely see each other, and… Have you ever been in a relationship that you think was born out of pity?” Kate asked her when they entered the hotel and went over to the front desk so Kate could collect the key to the room she was sharing with Claire.

“You pity Richard?” Colette frowned as they climbed up the stairs to the second floor.

“No, I think he pities me.” Kate corrected her and unlocked the door to her room, letting Colette enter before her and motioning to her bed in an invitation as she herself started gathering up a few of the strewn around clothes before she sat down next to her friend. “He knows about Niko. And I think he was just feeling sorry for me, because Niko had to go back to Yugoslavia and I was so worried about him… I don’t know.” Kate sighed.

Colette shrugged.

“Well, do you like him?” she asked her friend and Kate leaned forward, hiding her face in her hands.

“I don’t know.” she admitted, drawing a deep breath. “I think I’m only seeing him because he understands me. I don’t have to explain myself all the time to him. It’s refreshing. At the same time, he keeps me in the dark about himself, and… I don’t know.” she muttered, turning to Colette. “Enough of that. I want to know everything, every little detail you haven’t mentioned in the letters.”

Colette laughed, shaking her head. “Well, that is a lot.” she allowed, tugging on the comforter as she began to describe the last six months of her life.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Colette meet again, after six months of total silence between them.

“That must have been strange.” Kate frowned as Colette told her how her search had come to a halt, but just when she was about to give up, Omar had contacted her, giving her the address of a man that had been teaching at an all boy’s school her brother had attended.

“It was.” the French woman nodded, sighing. “I still feel strange about it. I mean, he gave me my family back, and I am thankful for it. But the thought that he kept tabs on me, even after we broke up, is… unsettling.”

The redhead nodded, getting up to pour them something to drink.

“Where are you currently staying, anyway?” Kate asked her, handing a glass of water to her. Colette took a sip, shrugging.

“At a friend’s apartment.”

“A friend?” Kate lifted her eyebrow, sitting down on Claire’s bed opposite of Colette.

“Her name is Valentine. We spent four hours talking to each other one the train, she told me I was welcome to crash at her place any time.” the brunette shook her head.

“Four hour train ride?” Kate inquired, frowning lightly. Colette sighed and bit her lip.

“I went to Germany. Dachau.” she admitted and her friend deflated, reaching out to squeeze Colette’s knee.

“Why didn’t you say something? I could have come with you; you didn’t have to do this on your own, Colette.” she muttered, but the French woman shook her head, reaching up to wipe a tear away from under her eye.

“No, I had to. This was something I needed to do on my own.”

“Did it at least help?” Kate asked and her friend sighed.

“I am not sure. Maybe.” she shook her head, giving a short laugh. “I tried to change my name.” she revealed.

“To HaLevi?” Kate frowned.

“ _Oui_. Only when I had the papers ready and I signed them and stood in line to hand them in, I realized I had signed with Colette Valois.” Colette laughed, shaking her head at herself. “It was a stupid idea, but one I apparently had to go through having. I realized that it doesn’t change anything, my name doesn’t change who I am.”

“Yeah, there were times when I wished I could just, change my name and be a different person.” Kate shook her head, running a hand through her hair.

“So, what else did I miss?” Colette inclined her head and Kate sighed. She had missed a lot, many of it not pretty, especially given that it centered around the fallout of Ted’s change of heart when it came to marrying Amanda. Kate had missed her the most then, she had become tired of taking care of Laura, of trying to catch her and keep her together. If Colette had been there, she could have had someone else to talk to, she could’ve helped. But Colette had been in Europe, trying to get her own life back together.

“Ted and Amanda’s wedding. Though I’m pretty sure that only Dean and Sanjeev went to that from our crew.” Kate told her. “Apparently, Amanda thinks the baby will be a boy. She tried to talk to Laura a few times, but Maggie and I kept intercepting her, so she gave up.”

“Poor Laura.” Colette sighed. “I am starting to think that the Clipper Majestic crew is cursed when it comes to romance.” she added. Kate nodded thoughtfully.

“Well, Sanjeev is still happily married. But aside from him…” the redhead trailed off, looking up with a frown when there was a knock on the door.

“Kate?” Dean’s voice carried through the wood. “Come on, I know you’re back. I asked at the front desk.”

Kate looked at her friend whose eyes widened almost comically. “I’ll try to shake him off.” she muttered, walking over to the door and making sure that the bed couldn’t be seen from it and Colette wasn’t casting a reflection in the mirror on the wall, either.

“Sorry, I was napping.” she apologized when she opened the door, and Colette could just imagine Dean’s eyebrows hitting his hairline.

“Napping. In full clothes and make-up.” his voice sounded and she could hear Kate give an exasperated sigh.

“What do you want, Dean?” she asked him.

“Are you going to treat me the same way that you girls treated Ted?” the pilot asked, his patience wearing thin. Everyone had treated him like an outcast in the last few months and especially on the flight. It wasn’t his fault Colette had left, he had tried his best to make her stay, to offer her support, but she hadn’t wanted that. It had been months since she had disappeared to find God knew what in Europe, and he was still being  punished for it.

“Well, Ted broke my sister’s heart; you broke my best friend’s, so I guess the answer is yes.” Kate snapped at him, her temper showing. There was a lot she could forgive, but what had happened with Bridget wasn’t on that list. Most of the time, she wasn’t even sure who she was more mad at, the woman or Dean.

“ _She_ went to France, Kate. I didn’t make her. I tried to go with her, I offered to help. I told Colette I loved her-”

“Was that before or after you slept with Bridget in London?” Kate threw at him, making Dean shut up quickly. Colette closed her eyes briefly, hurt washing over her as she heard Kate give a soft sigh.

“What do you want, Dean?” the redhead repeated, her voice sounding tired.

“I was just, wondering if you had an address. Or telephone number I could reach her under. We’re in France, after all.” he muttered.

“Dean… Colette is my friend. She trusts me, I can’t-”

“It’s okay.” Colette cut in; walking over to the two of them and feeling her breath catch in her throat as she saw her former boyfriend for the first time in months. “Bonjour, Dean.”

“You… you’ve been sitting there the whole time?” he asked, pushing himself up from the doorjamb he was leaning against and staring at Kate.

“Kate, may we-” Colette started and Kate nodded quickly.

“Have a moment? Sure. I’ll, uh, I’ll be at the bar.” the redhead told them, grabbing the hotel room key and wondering briefly what she was supposed to do in case Claire returned with the others.

Dean shook his head, burying his hands in his pockets as the door closed behind the redhead.

“Did you know we were going to be in Paris, or this is just a weird little coincidence?” he asked her as Colette gestured for him to sit. When he flopped down on Kate’s bed, she sat on Claire’s, avoiding his eyes.

“I knew that Kate was coming here. I’ve been in the city for two weeks now. And I have a ticket back to New York. My leave of absence is up, Pan Am wants me back.”

Dean gave a soft snort at that before he shook his head again. “Six months. Six months without a single word. You could’ve died and I wouldn’t have known!” he exclaimed, making the French woman cringe. She hadn’t considered that Maggie, Laura and Kate might transform into a wall of silence. Especially Laura, she had thought that the blonde woman would probably give in and tell Dean a few things Colette had written them on the cards, but apparently being left by Dean’s best friend had also taken its toll on the relationship between the two of them.

“I did not think that they would not tell you anything.”

“Really? You didn’t ask Kate to keep her mouth shut about anything you wrote her?” Dean pried and Colette sighed.

“Kate and I are best friends. What we say to each other stays between us.” she admitted.

“Fantastic.” Dean muttered, letting his eyes roam over her as Colette squirmed slightly under his gaze. Her hair was longer than he remembered, but she still had her bangs. “You look okay to me.” he declared.

“Thank you.” the French woman muttered, drawing a deep breath. “I need to apologize.” she said, ignoring Dean’s snort. “Though I meant what I said, after the New Year’s Eve party. I had to leave, to try to find my brother. And more importantly, find myself. Get my footing back.”

“And you needed six months of _total silence_ with me to do that?”

“Yes.” Colette nodded. “The truth is, I still love you.” she admitted, feeling a pang in her chest when she saw the small and hopeful smile cross Dean’s lips. “But that does not change how deeply you have hurt me. I told you that for the first time in my life, I would not let my fear get in-between me and what I wanted, yet you had already slept with Bridget. And I do not think that you would have told me about it if I had not found the cufflink.”

To his credit, Dean didn’t even think about contradicting her in that moment. Because if he was honest, she was right. He wouldn’t have told her about Bridget unless his hand had been forced, he was well aware of that. He knew he had screwed up, screwed up big time. After all, he had had six entire months where he had been able to think about it, beat himself up about what he had done to her, to them.

“So, what happens now?” he asked her and Colette sighed, shrugging.

“I do not know.” she admitted, swallowing when she looked at him. “I wish I could be with you, Dean. But I need to trust that the person I am with will not hurt me. You have already done that.”

The pilot furrowed his brows and looked down at his hands, drawing a slow breath.

“If you’re returning to the States, does that mean you’ve found your brother?” he changed the topic. Looking up, he saw Colette nodding slowly.

“Yes. Yes, I have found him.” she answered, a soft smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. “His name is Benjamin, he lives in a village close to Toulouse.”

“Let me take you to dinner. To celebrate.” Dean suddenly asked her and Colette’s eyes widened.

“Dean…”

“What? It’s just us and a couple more people at some French restaurant. You’ll have to translate the menu, so that’ll be hardly romantic. And I promise not to have any whiskey or cigarettes.”

Despite herself, Colette couldn’t help but smile at the memory of that night a year ago when they had been dancing in the street after leaving the night club. He had told her she smelled like Paris and if she was honest with herself, it had been the moment she had completely fallen in love with him.

“Just don’t step on my foot again, okay?” she asked him when she took his hand and let him pull her up from the bed. They went downstairs and Colette found Kate, telling her she’d see her on the plane again.

* * *

It turned out that dinner was a good idea, even though it started off awkwardly. They found a small restaurant where they could talk in English without getting strange looks, answering questions about the last six months. Dean had spent most of those at home with his parents, helping out on the farm and back to flying the crop dusters he had learned to fly in years ago.

“Wanna share a cab?” Dean asked her once they left the restaurant. Colette tilted her head at him, searching his face. “Sorry, I’m not entirely comfortable letting you go home by yourself.” he admitted, making her smile.

“Who says I have a home here?” she asked him, carefully taking his hand as her heart fluttered in her chest. “And anyways, I do not want to go to bed just yet.”

Dean raised an eyebrow at her, allowing her to tug him along. “Are you suggesting we go wandering around Paris?”

“Why not?” Colette shrugged, her breath catching in her throat at how close he suddenly was when she turned around again. She felt him squeeze her hand while his other came to rest on her hip. Her heart sped up and she swallowed thickly.

“I’ve been told it leads to dancing in the middle of the street. Without music.” Dean responded, tilting his head at her. “You’re beautiful when you smile, you know that?” he muttered, making Colette blush with the unexpected compliment. “I think that’s what I missed most. Your smile, this positive energy you have. You can light up an entire room with your presence, and I don’t think you’re even remotely aware of that.”

“Now you’re rambling.” Colette shook her head.

“It’s true.” Dean insisted, letting go of her hand to stroke her cheek. Her eyes fluttered shut at the contact and she leaned into the touch. “I’m sorry, for hurting you.” he muttered. Colette’s eyes flew open and she reached up to cover his hand with her own.

“I know.” she nodded, reaching up to run her hand over the lapel of his jacket, unable to stop herself from touching him yet again, even though the little voice at the back of her head screamed at her to step away, to walk away from this as long as she still could.

“If I could go back and do it all over again, London would never have happened.”

Colette sighed, shaking her head.

“That is the problem.” she muttered, sad smile playing on her lips. “We cannot go back, no matter how much we may wish for it.”

“But we could go forward.” Dean argued. “I’m willing to, to wait as long as it takes. But I want a future with you, Colette. I meant was I said, I’ve fallen in love with you, I can’t get you out of my head, the last six months were… I remember seeing my first colored movie.” he suddenly changed the topic. “And it was just so… different, from what I’ve seen before. My parents never understood why I left the farm, but I had to. My entire life was a grayscale movie, unless I was flying. That’s when the colors came alive, and I just, I had to chase that. And then I met you. You snuck up on me, Colette. And every day you were around, my life got a little more color in it. And you did more than that. I first noticed it in Haiti, actually. Amidst all that chaos, there was _you_. You knew what you wanted, and you wouldn’t budge. When I lost my head, you were there. I love flying, I hate being grounded, but you ground me in a way that helps me keep my head straight.”

“You’re not making any sense.” Colette shook her head, blinking at the tears that were welling up in her eyes. He was rambling and yet he still managed to make her so utterly happy that she had no idea how she had gone through six months without him.

Dean let out a half-choked sound and shook his head. “Yeah, probably not.” he inclined his head. “But I love you. And I don’t know how not to, I don’t know how to be without you. If you need more time, fine, I’ll wait. If you need something else, then tell me. If there’s anything I could do to prove to you how much you mean to me, say it and I’ll try. I just want a second chance, Colette.” he pleaded with her.

Colette hesitated, shifting on her feet and searching his face as she shook her head.

“I can’t get hurt again, Dean.” she breathed, her voice catching.

“I know. I get that.”

“Do you?” she asked, her dark eyes wide. “Do you understand how much energy and effort it cost me to put myself back together after what happened with Bridget? Because I don’t think you do, Dean.”

Dean closed his eyes briefly, taking a step back from her and shrugging.

“So you’re saying that it’s over, that there’s no second chance for us?” he asked her, but to his surprise, Colette shook her head.

“No. No, what I am saying is that, please don’t hurt me again.” she pleaded, her lower lip trembling. “Because as much as I can’t bear the thought of that, I still want to be with you.” Colette breathed. Dean blinked at her, her words taking a few seconds to register with him. Then he saw the tears spill from her eyes and wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug, holding her to him as she clutched at his back, her fingers twisting into the material of his jacket. He felt her tremble against him and moved his hand up to cradle her head.

“I love you.” he breathed, pressing a soft kiss to her temple and feeling Colette nod as she drew a shuddering breath. He didn’t expect her to say it back right then, her acknowledging the fact would have to be enough for the time being.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Colette and Dean find a rhythm and someone makes plans for the future.

Dean sat up in bed and rubbed a hand over his face, yawning. He slowly shook his head, trying to wake up. The other side of the bed was empty, he must have slept through Colette’s alarm. How she had managed to hear it was beyond him, really, given how exhausted they had been when they’d finally gone to sleep.

The door to the bedroom slowly opened and Colette slipped in on tiptoes, her back to the side of the bed he was sitting on. She walked over to her closet and opened the door, pulling out her uniform jacket and flinching when one of the hangers clattered to the floor, muttering a soft curse under her breath.

“Good morning.” Dean laughed and Colette jumped, whirling around, her hand going to her chest.

“Are you crazy?” she breathed, closing her eyes and trying to calm down. Dean got up and went over to her, kissing her gently.

“Only for you.” he murmured against her lips, making her grin as she wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing herself against him.

“Hyvää huomenta.” Colette returned with a soft smile as Dean frowned.

“Adding another language to your repertoire?” he teased her and Colette narrowed her eyes at him, slipping from his embrace.

“Perhaps.” she shrugged, walking around the bed to find her shoes. She put them on and straightened, furrowing her brows when she found her watch missing from the night stand. “You wouldn’t be trying to delay me, would you?” she asked when she found it in his shoe, tilting her head to the side slightly. Dean shrugged.

“Can you blame me for not wanting you to go to Finland?” he asked her, catching his shirt when she threw it at him.

“We have talked about this.” Colette reminded him, a warning edge creeping into her voice. She was right, they had many a conversation about her returning to work and how it would affect them, seeing as they were not on the same crew any longer.

“I know. And I understand, it’s just… With our schedules, we won’t see each other for three weeks.” her boyfriend complained, making the French stewardess sigh.

“I know.” she muttered, walking back over to him and kissing him. “And I do not like it any more than you do.” she assured him, sighing when his arms wrapped around her and he deepened the kiss.

“Dean.” she breathed after a few minutes when she felt him unbuttoning her uniform jacket.

“Huh?” he muttered, leaving her mouth to nibble on her neck and Colette giggled, stepping away from him and giving him an exasperated look.

“I have to go.” she told him, shaking her head and leaving the bedroom. Dean quickly pulled on his pants and buttoned his shirt up, racing to catch her at the door to her apartment.

“Ah, no.” he shook his head, grabbing her suitcase before she could pick it up. “Let me carry this downstairs for you.” he grinned at her, holding open the door. Colette shook her head in exasperation but went on ahead of him still.

“Don’t get frostbite.” Dean muttered against her lips a few minutes later, ignoring the taxi driver as he cleared his throat. Colette laughed, shaking her head before she pulled him in for another kiss.

“It’s summer in Finland.” she reminded him with a smile and let go reluctantly, getting into the cab. Dean waved at her as the car pulled away from the curb, watching as it went down the street before making a turn. He took a deep breath before he shook his head, going back upstairs to have something for breakfast but deciding to just get back to his own place after being hit with an immense feeling of loneliness as he stood in her empty apartment.

* * *

“Thank you.” Kate murmured as she went into the small kitchen area, grabbing a cracker and munching on it as Colette prepared the breakfast for the passengers. The redhead yawned; shaking her head slightly and making Colette frown at her.

“Are you alright?” she asked her and Kate widened her eyes to repress another yawn. The redhead had been in a bit of a funk lately, Colette had found. She often seemed miles away with her thoughts, completely lost in whatever was going on inside her head at times. It wasn’t something the French woman was used to and it was starting to worry her.

“Long night.” Kate admitted, pouring herself a cup of coffee. “Richard and I had a… difference of opinion.” she added.

“Anything serious?” the French stewardess asked, instantly worried about her friend. Kate shook her head quickly. She couldn’t really divulge any information to Colette, anyway, what they had fought over –yet again- was the CIA’s newest mission and how they both saw it differently.

“No, it was just something silly that we ended up arguing over and I overreacted. I threw him out and then felt guilty and couldn’t sleep.” the redhead sighed. “You seem happier than me.” she tilted her head at Colette, causing the other woman to blush and Kate breathe a sigh of relief that the change of topic was going to be accepted.

“Perhaps I am.” she smiled at her before handing Kate a basket with croissants, wordlessly asking her to help as they saw their purser approach.

It had come as a surprise to Colette when she had found that Kate was also on her new crew a few months ago, the redhead saying that she had to get away from her sister. The French woman had no idea what had happened between the siblings now, but as the months passed, Kate made no request to return to the crew of the Clipper Majestic whatsoever. It didn’t seem like she had had a falling out with Laura or that she wasn’t talking to her, but it seemed to Colette as if Kate was keeping her sister at arm’s length, and started doing the same to other people, too.

While Kate was starting to withdraw from everyone, Colette had allowed herself to get closer to Dean than before, by now he had a key to her place and she had one to his, and even though they had not made much of a fuss about it and agreed on it for practical reasons, both of them being on different crews and often going weeks without being able to see each other, the thought still made her heart speed up slightly. She couldn’t remember the last time she had been this happy, this content in a relationship, and for once she was starting to believe that it would not just dissolve into a puff of smoke the next day.

The only thing that slightly upset her was that her brother and her were still barely on speaking terms. She understood that it had come as a surprise to him, he had known that he was adopted, but much like Colette hadn’t had an idea that he had had a sister. They wrote letters to each other, but it was apparent that they didn’t really know what to say in them and kept talking about inane things, avoiding the personal stuff as much as possible, afraid that they hadn’t reached that point in their relationship just yet.

* * *

Finland turned into Burma and then into Rome, until Colette knew ‘exhausted’ was an euphemism for how she was feeling as she picked up her luggage at JFK airport, drawing a deep breath to take in the fact that she was finally home again.

She didn’t even think about it when she gave the cab driver Dean’s address. She knew he wouldn’t be back from Caracas for another two days, but the thought of sleeping in his bed somehow comforted her more than the thought of her own empty apartment did. She just wanted to be as close to him as possible.

Colette sighed as she opened the door and paused, frowning at the light that was on in the hallway and shaking her head slightly at her forgetful boyfriend. Well, it wasn’t her electricity bill, she thought. She shrugged, toeing out of her heels and taking off her cap and tossing it across the room as she walked into the living room and laid down on the couch. She’d just close her eyes for a second, then get a nice, long soak in the tub and a good night’s sleep, she thought right before she fell asleep.

* * *

Whistling to himself, Dean opened the door to his apartment, almost falling over the suitcase sitting there. He frowned lightly as he saw the Pan Am bag sitting next to it, a soft smile appearing on his lips. The apartment was silent, and he quickly calculated in his head to realize that it would be in the early morning in Rome now.

Carefully, he pulled off his shoes and went to the bedroom, finding the bed empty. He furrowed his brows and went back to the living room, reaching up to cover his mouth with his hand to stifle a laugh as he saw his girlfriend lying on his couch, still dressed in her uniform, fast asleep. Her hat was lying in the armchair, but she hadn’t even managed to take off her gloves.

Trying hard not to make a sound, Dean went over to her and pulled the blanket off the back of his couch, draping it over her. Colette mumbled something in her sleep as she turned onto her side but didn’t open her eyes or gave any indication that she had woken up. He shook his head and leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to her hair before sitting down in the armchair to watch her sleep for a few minutes, his heart swelling at the thought of having her back, at least for a little while. Or for longer, if what he had in mind would be met with some enthusiasm.

The small box in the pocket of his pants seemed to suddenly heat up and burn through the material of the pants. He slowly pulled it out, drawing a deep breath as he opened it.

Ted had said the ring was beautiful and looked like something Colette might like. Then again, what did the man know, really?

He was just hoping that this proposal wouldn’t end like his first one. He firmly intended this one to be his last, ever.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean is getting ahead of himself and Colette has to figure out what she wants.

The smell of coffee was what woke her.

Colette stretched and blinked open her eyes, sitting up and frowning in confusion when she realized that she was still wearing her uniform. With a start, she also remembered that she was at Dean’s place, and Dean was in Venezuela.

Or not, because then she saw him carry two cups of coffee into the room, his face splitting into a huge smile when he saw her sitting there, her hair a mess and a puzzled look on her face.

“Good morning.” he smiled at her, setting down the cups and leaning down to capture her lips in a soft kiss.

“What are you doing here?” Colette mumbled as he sat down next to her with a laugh.

“This _is_ my apartment.” Dean reminded her with a chuckle, watching as she took off her gloves before picking up one of the cups to tale a sip of the coffee and blinked her eyes slowly.

“Yes, but… Venezuela.” his girlfriend said, furrowing her brows in confusion. She was rather adorable when she was still in this state of sleepiness, after just being woken when her brain was only starting to kick into gear. She tended to mix her languages then, too, something he found incredibly endearing.

“Ah, yeah.” Dean shrugged, brushing a strand of hair out of her face tenderly. “Couldn’t wait to see you again.” he admitted, smiling at her before shrugging. “Besides, I had to finally get around to visit Vanderway junior.” he added, instantly feeling Colette tense up.

He would never understand the complexities of female friendships, Dean mused. Why Kate refused to acknowledge the birth of the little boy he barely grasped. Laura was her sister, after all, but then again it wasn’t like Ted had done anything wrong by marrying Amanda and trying to do the right thing for his unborn child. Why Colette acted just like the redhead was beyond Dean. Not that she ever gave him the reason, one other than “Kate and Laura are my friends”. Yeah, well, he was her boyfriend and Ted was his best friend, which made Amanda his best friend’s wife. At least she could try.

“How is he?” she asked, her voice full of polite disinterest.

“Looks too much like Ted, if you ask me.” Dean frowned lightly, tilting his head at her as he suddenly started imagining what their children might look like.

“Oh no.” Colette shook her head, getting up from his couch and shedding her uniform jacket as she walked into his kitchen.

“No what?” Dean called after her, following her when she failed to answer to watch her take out silverware for setting the table.

“Do not do this, Dean.” Colette asked him, sticking her head into the fridge to find the butter.

“Do what?” he asked, crossing his arms but dropping the act when she gave him a look. “Okay, so what if I imagined it?”

Colette sighed, abandoning the preparations for breakfast to face him. They had never really discussed having children. They had mentioned it, in the broadest of terms, Dean saying that he had hated growing up as an only child and not having someone to play with, someone to back him up against his parents when he was a teenager. Colette had mentioned that she couldn’t imagine being an only child, having grown up in an orphanage with so many children and too few nuns. While the women tried, there had never been a moment when Colette had gotten their undivided attention, not for longer than a minute at a time. It was something she had missed, but in hindsight she was thankful for growing up with others that struggled as much as her sometimes, of not having the feeling of being alone with her problems.

“You know that I’m not ready for this.” Colette reminded him, making Dean draw a slow breath as he remembered the little box at the bottom of his briefcase. It seemed like his timing hadn’t improved at all.

“Yeah, who said that it had to be now?” he argued, pushing his hands deep into the pockets of his pants. Colette just shook her head and walked over to him. She pressed a gentle kiss to the corner of his mouth before disappearing down the hallway into the bathroom. Dean shook his head at himself, drawing a deep breath before he grabbed the tray Colette had set the breakfast supplies on and carried them to the living room, setting the table for them. He really had to learn to stop getting ahead of himself like that. Though now that the idea was in his head, he found it hard to shake the vision of Colette playing catch with a little boy, or singing to a little girl with her dark hair and eyes. He hadn’t really given it much thought before, but now he was yearning to start a family with her, though he knew that it would take more time for Colette to reach the same point.

When she returned to the living room, clad in a Sunday dress, Dean opened his mouth to apologize, but Colette shushed him with a finger against his lips.

“I love you.” she muttered, looking up at him. “But this is moving way too fast, Dean.”

“I know.” he agreed, resting his forehead against hers and wrapping his arms around her waist to hold her close. “I’ll put on the brakes, okay? Wait ‘till you catch up.”

Colette chuckled lightly, shaking her head. “I’m not asking for that. Just, get off the fast lane and the highway and, join me on the country road?” she frowned lightly at the metaphor. Dean smiled at her.

“Yeah, I heard the scenery’s beautiful.” he nodded, kissing her gently. “Breakfast?” he asked, but to his surprise, his girlfriend shook her head.

“ _Non_ , I… have someplace to go.” she told him, making Dean raise his eyebrows before he gave a soft chuckle.

“You can tell me if you go to Church, you know that, right?” he asked her and Colette rolled her eyes, nodding.

“Yes, I do.” she mumbled, kissing him again before slipping from his embrace to find her shoes.

“We could do dinner?” Dean suggested. “If you stand me up for breakfast, and I seem to remember a lunch date with Kate.”

Colette looked up at him guiltily. “I’m sorry, she’s just-”

Dean held up his hand quickly.

“It’s fine. Go see your friend.” he laughed lightly. Colette watched him briefly, tilting her head.

“There’s a new restaurant, one of the passengers mentioned it.”

Dean’s eyebrows shot up and he crossed his arms. “Did he ask you out to that place?” he asked her, feeling jealousy bubble up inside of him. Colette shook her head, laughing at his expression.

“ _Non_. He asked Kate, if you must know.” she informed him, an amused smile still playing on her face. “If you do not want to go out, we could cook something. I have a few more recipes you haven’t seen yet.” she suggested, but Dean shook his head.

“No, dinner at this place sounds lovely. Want me to take care of reservations?” he asked her, watching her shake her head.

“I can manage.” she smiled, grabbing her purse and kissing him goodbye before she left his apartment.

* * *

“Apologies, I underestimated the traffic.” Colette apologized as she sat down opposite of Kate at their favorite diner, ordering herself an iced tea and a sandwich.

“No problem.” the redhead assured her. “I haven’t been waiting for long.” she added, despite the empty plate already on the table. Colette raised an eyebrow and her friend shrugged. “I was hungry.”

“Given that you barely ate on the last layover, I am happy to hear that.” the French woman said, taking a bite of her sandwich. Kate shook her head slightly.

“I am an adult, I can look out for myself.” she reminded Colette as she crossed her arms. “And I don’t think Miss Havemeyer is going to complain.” she added, making Colette purse her lips.

“The day that woman does not find one thing to complain about will be the day that Hell freezes over.” she muttered under her breath, her hand going up to touch the necklace around her neck. Kate frowned at the unfamiliar gesture, her eyebrows shooting up when she realized that Colette was wearing a crucifix. She couldn’t remember the last time she had actually seen her wear it. She knew it had been a gift from the nuns, a simple silver cross given to the girls for their Holy Communion.

“Speaking of Hell, my mother called.” Kate said, leaning on the table. “While I was gone and Richard was in my apartment. He answered, and now I have one stranger to explain. Any suggestions?”

Colette swallowed and washed down her food with a sip of her drink.

“The truth?” she tried, only to have Kate raise her eyebrow pointedly. “You have said it, you are an adult. You can make your own decisions.”

“Right.” Kate chuckled. “I think my mother still thinks Laura and I are virgins and any man we meet is happily married or engaged.”

Colette bit her lip, remembering that being married did not keep anyone from cheating, as she had been forced to learn.

“You could tell her he’s the super and was just watering your plants. Or you go the patented Kate route and tell her all the dirty details.”

“I want her to keep her nose out of my life, not put her in a grave.” Kate laughed, sobering when she realized that again, Colette was staring at her plate. “But it seems like I am boring you.”

The French stewardess looked up in surprise and quickly shook her head.

“ _Non_.” she muttered, reaching up to pinch the bridge of her nose. “No, it is just… Dean skipped the flight to Venezuela and we had a conversation this morning that was…” she trailed off, frowning at herself. She wasn’t entirely sure why that had left her so unsettled that she had gone to look for the strange sense of comfort that a Church provided her with, to clear her head and think. It wasn’t that she couldn’t imagine a future with Dean, she could, rather vividly actually. Maybe it was the knowledge that for her to have that, to be married to him and raise a child (or more), she would have to quit her job when it had been Pan Am that got her out of the life she had been stuck with and shown her the world.

“Did you two fight?” Kate asked, lowering her voice and squeezing Colette’s hand on the table. The other woman shook her head slowly.

“We were talking about Ted’s son,” she started, noticing the way that Kate’s jaw set. “And he suddenly kept looking at me in this way. I knew he was thinking of us having children, and it… scared me.” Colette admitted.

Kate frowned lightly.

“I thought you want children?” she asked carefully. Much like the rest of her private life, Colette kept her plans for the future mostly to herself, though from her interactions with children, Kate had gathered that she enjoyed it and loved being around them.

“I do.” Colette sighed, turning the coaster her glass was sitting on. “But it is… He is making all these plans for the future, and while it is nice, in a way, to know that he wishes to still be with me then, I keep thinking that we are getting ahead of ourselves, that this is moving too fast…” The French stewardess shook her head resolutely.

“Enough of that.” she declared. “I want to know what Richard was doing in your apartment when you were gone.” 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Colette learns of Dean's plans, but not in a way either one of them might have expected.

It was six months later that Colette drew a deep breath as she stepped into the entrance hall of the building, her arm hooked through Dean’s. Kate gave a low whistle, taking in the expensive decorating. They were used to some glamour as Pan Am stewardesses, but this invitation had been a notch above their usual ones.

 “Join me at the bar?” Colette asked her friend, watching as Dean wandered off to make small talk with airline officials. Kate nodded, hooking her arm through her friend’s as they wandered over, ordering themselves a drink.

“Colette. Kate.” a friendly voice called their names and the two friends froze after toasting each other, slowly lowering their glasses and turning to face Amanda.

“I didn’t know you would be here.” the woman said and Colette could see Kate bite her tongue. She knew that the only reason Kate had been able to talk her younger sister into coming along had been because they were convinced that Amanda would be at home with the baby. Seemed like they had been wrong with that.

“Amanda, bonsoir.” Colette murmured, her eyes widening when the woman hugged her. “We thought you’d stay at home with Charlie?” she asked, seeing Kate take a gulp of her drink, her eyes searching the room, apparently looking for Laura to warn her.

“No, my mother came for a visit and she insisted on watching him so I could join Teddy.”

“Did she.” Kate muttered into her glass. Amanda gave her a slightly irritated look. “Excuse me, I have to go to the powder room.” the redhead said, giving Colette a look before she slipped away that made the French woman rather weary.

“It’s been so long since we’ve had a chance to talk to each other, one wife to the other.” Amanda said, accepting a glass of martini from the bartender. Colette shook her head with a soft laugh.

“Ah, Dean and I are not married.” she reminded the other woman. It seemed to slip people’s mind quite often that, if she were to get married, she would have to give up her job at Pan Am. And while she loved Dean, a lot more than her job, Colette wasn’t quite ready to give up her freedom that came with being a stewardess and earning her own money.

Amanda shrugged, taking a sip of her drink.

“Well, it’s only a matter of time.” she said. “The ring was really beautiful. How did he ask?” she asked Colette, who frowned lightly.

“What ring?” she inquired, shifting on her feet. When the other woman’s smile faded and her eyes widened, Colette suddenly felt her heart speed up.

“I…” Amanda stammered, reaching up to cover her mouth.

“What… what ring?” Colette repeated, her throat dry.

“I am so sorry, Colette, I thought… Dean came by to talk to Ted, I thought… I am really sorry.” Ted’s wife apologized, reaching out to squeeze her shoulder. Colette shrugged her hand off and set her glass down.

“Would you excuse me.” she murmured, disappearing into the direction of the powder room. Once she slipped inside, she went over to the sinks and leaned against them, breathing heavily.

“- know, she just walked up to us.” Kate’s voice sounded a second before the door opened and the two Cameron sisters slipped in.

“Oh God.” Laura whined, throwing her head back. Kate froze when she caught sight of her friend hunched over by the sinks, fighting to breathe.

“Colette?” she asked, quickly walking over to her. “Colette, hey.” the redhead muttered, gently touching her friend and the French woman made a choked sound. “What happened?” Kate asked gently, rubbing the other woman’s back as Laura came over to them, wetting a few paper towels and dapping at the skin of Colette’s neck.

“Was it Amanda? Did she say something to you?” the younger of the sister gently inquired. Colette shook her head, feeling the bile rise in her throat. “Colette, what’s-”

The French stewardess covered her mouth with her hand and quickly disappeared into a stall, leaving the two sisters to flinch as the sound of retching filled the room.

“What happened?” Laura hissed at her sister, who shrugged helplessly.

“I have no idea; they were fine when I left them!” Kate hissed back, drawing a slow breath.

“Should I go get Dean?” the blond American asked, staring at the stall Colette had disappeared into with worry. Kate worried her lip before shaking her head.

“No, she wouldn’t want him to know.” the redhead decided, her mind working frantically. “Um, wait. We, we have to get her out of here, whatever happened...”

At that point, the toilet was flushed and Colette came back out, white as a ghost.

“Hey.” Kate breathed, her worry increasing when she saw that Colette was holding back tears.

“I’ll get a glass of water.” Laura offered, slipping from the room and leaving the two friends.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Kate asked carefully, handing over the wet paper towels. Colette shook her head mutely; drawing a shuddering breath and reaching up to wipe away a tear that made it past her control. “Go home?” her friend suggested instead, just when Laura appeared with a glass of water and a bourbon in her hand, shrugging at her sister’s incredulous look. Colette accepted the water, rinsing her mouth out and making a face.

“Do you want us to find Dean, so he can take you home?” the blond stewardess asked, her eyes widening when Colette shook her head quickly.

“ _Non_.” she muttered, closing her eyes. “Please, not Dean.”

The sisters exchanged a look of surprise and worry.

“Okay. Um, how about you and I go to my place?” Kate suggested. “Get some sleep, whatever it is might look better in the morning.”

“I doubt that.” Colette shook her head with a sigh, reaching for the bourbon Laura had set down on the counter. Kate resolutely took the glass out of her hand, cocking an eyebrow at her friend who sighed. “Sleep sounds good.” Colette nodded, accepting the offer.

“Let’s go get a cab, then.” Kate muttered, wrapping her hand around Colette’s shoulder.

Once she had Colette in the car outside, Kate turned around to her sister. “Go find Dean, tell him… I don’t know. Uh, tell him my boyfriend broke up with me and Colette took me home to comfort me and will stay the night.”

Laura stared at her sister incredulously. “You want me to lie to her boyfriend?”

“For all we know, he might not be that anymore.” Kate reminded her sister and sighed, reaching up to rub her forehead. “It’s the only thing I can think of that will keep him away. Please, Laura. For once, try to be convincing.”

Laura sighed, her shoulders slumping. “Okay.” she agreed, frowning. “Why aren’t I staying with you two?” she asked, making Kate raise her eyebrows. Laura rolled her eyes. “I meant, if Dean asks.”

“Just say that you’ll come over. It will give you an excuse to leave, too.” her older sister suggested and Laura’s face lit up briefly.

“So I guess you don’t want me to actually come over?” she inquired.

Kate cast a look at the backseat of the cab and shook her head. “No, she’ll probably talk to me when we’re alone.” she declined, hugging her sister goodbye before getting in the cab and giving her address, drawing a slow breath as she watched Colette stare out the window, the French woman’s hands balled into fists so tight that her knuckles turned white.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A talk.

“I thought I’d see you tomorrow.” Dean greeted his girlfriend the next day, frowning lightly when Colette turned her head away as he tried to kiss her.

“We have to talk.” she murmured, walking past him into the apartment, crossing her arms.

She had spent most of the night lying awake, thinking, after the initial shock had worn away and left her able to examine what had happened. Apparently, Dean had bought a ring, but then he had gotten cold feet. Most likely, he had realized that he didn’t want this kind of relationship with her, that they would not be able to make it work. And truth be told, Colette had her doubts about that, too. She loved him, more than she could put into words, but so much had happened between them already, so much had been damaged and broken… She had wanted to believe that what had been shattered by Bridget hadn’t been beyond repair, but it seemed like she had been merely giving into her delusions there. And if that was the case, then perhaps it would be better to end this now, rather than drag it out. It would only hurt more.

Colette’s entire posture set Dean’s teeth on edge. There was something in her eyes that reminded him of London, and it unnerved him. He quickly went through their last interactions, trying to remember if he had said or done something wrong.

Well, he _had_ abandoned her at the party last night, but only for a few minutes. He’d been planning on making some small talk before finding her and dancing through the night. Only he had still been talking to Ted and his father when Laura had found him, pulling him over to tell him that Colette had left with Kate. Which seemed a little strange to him, after all Kate had seemed just fine when he had seen her half an hour before that, but then again, she was a woman and you could never know with them.

“Kate feeling better?” he asked Colette, who shook her head.

“Kate never felt bad.” she told him. “Laura lied. I was the one who needed to leave, and that was the only thing they could come up with to keep you from asking questions.” she informed him. Dean furrowed his brows.

“Did I do something?” he asked her, confused. “Is this about the laundry joke I made before we left? Because I didn’t-”

“I talked to Amanda.” Colette interrupted him, drawing a slow breath. “She asked me how you proposed.”

Dean felt the floor slip out from under him as his blood started pounding in his ears.

“Oh.” he breathed, swallowing thickly as his mind scrambled for a way to get out of this mess. “Listen, Colette-”

“Dean.”

Just the way she said his name knew he was in big trouble, more so when he noticed how hard she was trying to hold back tears.

“Look, I… I wanted to ask you the second I bought the ring. But then-”

“You got cold feet.” Colette supplied looking away from him. Dean furrowed his brows and took a step towards her.

“No.” he told her, shaking his head. “No, I didn’t get cold feet. I… Colette, I love you.”

“Enough to buy a ring but not enough to actually ask, apparently.” she laughed in self-depreciation.

“No, that’s not…”

“Please don’t.” she breathed, reaching up to pinch the bridge of her nose. Dean drew a slow breath.

“I made dinner reservations at _Le Don_.” he told her in a desperate attempt to prevent another break-up. Colette’s eyes flew open and she slowly lowered her hand. “The anniversary of the maiden voyage of the Clipper Majestic.” he elaborated, suddenly feeling rather silly about the whole thing he had planned. “I was planning on taking you to your favorite restaurant in the world and then go back to this corner where we first danced together. I was gonna get down on one knee there and ask you to marry me. Laura’s been teaching me some French, and I still suck at it, but I thought, if you said yes, we could go down to Fronton afterwards. Tell your brother about it. You could spend some time with him…” he trailed off, seeing doubt creep into her dark eyes and grasping that chance. “I love you, Colette. More than anyone else in the entire world.” he declared. “The only reason I didn’t ask you when I first bought the ring was because when I saw you afterwards, you told me you weren’t ready for children and asked me to slow down.”

Colette drew a shuddering breath, realizing what conversation he was referring to.

“I didn’t want to push you into something you weren’t ready for. And I know that if you said yes, then we wouldn’t get married right away. I know that, I just, I wanted to make sure you knew that I wasn’t going anywhere. Because believe it or not, I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

As he was talking, Dean had been crossing the room until he stood in front of her, carefully resting his forehead against Colette’s as the breath hitched in her throat.

“So you didn’t change your mind?” she breathed.

“No, never. Not for a second.” he assured her, feeling her shudder against him as she exhaled. “I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Colette.” Dean said, reaching up to stroke her cheek. Colette shook her head, clutching at him as tears welled up in her eyes.

“I want that, too.” she breathed, closing her eyes as she broke into French, her voice catching in her throat a few times. Dean frowned at her, confused by the sudden change of language. Colette opened her eyes again, reaching up to wipe away the tears on her face.

“ _Je t’aime_.” she murmured, kissing him and Dean kissed her back. At least that he could understand. As much as he could understand her non-verbal cues, because she suddenly started unbuttoning his shirt and had his belt open before they were even at the door to his bedroom, making him raise his eyebrows in surprise. Not that he was going to complain, but this was a level of physicality he wasn’t used to from her. They frequently touched to express their feelings, reassuring each other or simply letting them know they were around, but the speed at which her kisses turned from soft to needy was new to him, as was the frustrated sound she made when he took a second too long to kick off his shoes.

As they fell into bed, he realized that something had changed between them. It was like some invisible barrier had disappeared, one he hadn’t been aware of before even. It felt different, more intimate than ever, even more than the time they had had sex in his parents’ barn. She kept looking at him, her eyes locked on his, her own wide and dark, and he felt as if he was drowning in her proximity; the way she melted against him and took him in made his head spin and left him breathless and dizzy and made him wish that this moment would never end.

* * *

When Dean came back from the bathroom, he found Colette sitting on the edge of his bed, the bed sheet wrapped around her. The drawer of his bedside table was open and she was holding the box the engagement ring was in in her hand, staring at the black velvet.

“You like it?” he asked her carefully. Colette jumped in surprise, looking over at him and drawing a slow breath.

“I haven’t seen it.” she admitted, scooting over a little as he sat down next to her. Dean gave her a curious look as her eyes returned to the box. “I intended to, to see what you picked, but then…” she trailed off, biting her lip before she turned and put the box back into the drawer, closing it.

“Not curious?” he murmured, taking her hand. Colette gave a soft smile.

“Very.” she told him. “But I think I want to save that moment.” she added, looking into his eyes. “For when you propose.”

Dean felt his heart pick up speed and swallowed thickly.

“So, what you’re saying is...” he trailed off and Colette shook her head.

“I do not think that right now is the moment for it.” she murmured. “And neither is the anniversary of the first time we flew together and you were the captain.” she added, reaching up to stroke his cheek.

“But some other day?”

“Some other day.” Colette nodded with a soft smile before kissing him. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean finally makes his move.

Colette sat down at the table, putting a glass of water in front of Kate.

“You don’t have to take care of me, I am fine.” Kate told her, shaking her head and wincing slightly when her neck hurt from the motion.

“Yes, you look absolutely great to me.” Colette narrowed her eyes at her, making the redhead roll hers.

“The doctor said that nothing’s broken.” she reminded her friend before she took a sip of her drink..

“Yes, let’s talk about how getting a call from the hospital if I know a Kate Cameron, she has been in a car accident can finally be crossed off of my to-do list.” Colette mocked her, dark eyes full of concern, the shock from hours before still lingering.

Kate closed her eyes, wincing. “I’m sorry, they couldn’t reach Laura and they refused to release me without supervision.”

“I daresay you need it.” Colette shook her head. “What made you cross a street when the signal was red?” she asked, reaching out to squeeze Kate’s hand.

Kate opened her mouth, catching herself at the last moment. “I don’t know.” she said, shrugging. Her friend frowned at her.

“The doctor said to come back in case of memory loss…” she muttered and Kate held onto her hand as she started to rise.

“I am fine. It’s just, it’s embarrassing.” she told her. When Colette raised an eyebrow, Kate sighed in defeat. “I thought I saw Richard on the other side.”

Colette sank back into the chair. “Richard the Elusive? Who hasn’t returned your calls or shown up for two months now?” she asked, getting more confused by the minute.

Kate slowly nodded, drawing a shaky breath before she took another sip of the water. Richard had done his disappearing act shortly after the ball where Amanda had wreaked havoc on Dean’s and Colette’s relationship. At first she had thought that he was just on a mission that was simply dragging out. Then she had grown angry at the continued lack of contact. But when she had had to go through another polygraph two weeks ago, she had realized that something had gone wrong and now she was worried sick for him. And then she saw him on the street, completely out of the blue, calming strolling along, his arm around another woman’s waist. And Kate knew it had been him, she had called after him and he had turned around, she had seen his face. What she hadn’t seen had been the damn car.

“Was it really him?” Colette asked and Kate hesitated before shaking her head. As much as she wanted to, she couldn’t tell Colette the truth.

“I’m not sure, I called his name but he didn’t turn.” she lied, wincing when she moved her shoulder accidentally. She closed her eyes, biting her lip as she waited for the pain to pass. No one had ever told her how much dislocating your shoulder would hurt. The constant burn she felt on her left leg was taken out by the more intense pain of her shoulder, and Kate was almost thankful for that. Almost.

“Don’t you have a date?” she asked Colette as the pain slowly ebbed away. Her friend shook her head.

“I cannot leave you like this.” she pointed at her friend’s shoulder and the arm Kate had in a sling.

“I’m going to be fine. Besides, Laura will be here in an hour, I can manage that long on my own.”

The French stewardess furrowed her brows before shaking her head again. “No. Dean will understand.” she declared, getting up to call her boyfriend and cancel their dinner plans. Ever since they had returned from Paris, he was taking her out frequently, sometimes just for dinner, other times they went to see a movie or take a carriage ride or something else. He probably would be thankful for a small reprieve for his wallet, Colette chuckled to herself.

“No, please.” Kate called out, making Colette frown at her. “I am fine, really. Don’t cancel your evening just on my account.”

“Do you actually expect me to just leave you on your own like this?” the French stewardess asked, raising her eyebrows at her friend. Kate drew a slow breath, trying to come up with a good reason to make Colette leave without revealing too much. She wanted to kick herself for getting into trouble, today of all days. It seemed like the French woman was oblivious to the significance of the date, and Kate wasn’t about to enlighten her, but she had to get her to that damn dinner date.

“I need some time to catch my breath before I have to spend an evening with my sister.” she tried a soft smile, holding her breath. Colette didn’t look convinced, but she shifted on her feet and drew a slow breath.

“Are you sure?” she queried and the redhead could see that she was being torn between wanting to watch over Kate and spending time with Dean.

“Yes.” she quickly nodded. “It won’t be long, anyway, I can manage on my own for an hour.” she assured the brunette. Colette gave a soft sigh, deflating.

“Fine.” she agreed, going back to Kate and hugging her. “Do you need me to do something before I go?” she asked as she straightened, putting her coat back on as Kate answered in the negative and then shooed her out the door. If everything went according to plan, she’d be hearing from her in a few hours, anyway.

* * *

“Why are we here?” Colette asked him as Dean opened the door to his car after pulling into the employee parking lot at the Pan Am Worldport.

“You’ll see.” her boyfriend grinned at her, offering his arm to her. They had spent a lovely dinner at their favorite restaurant before he had said he had a surprise for her and had maneuvered her into his car, refusing to answer her questions where they were going. Now Colette couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed that he had taken her here, late as it was, too. Dean guided her through the airport to the Pan Am hub. It was strange to see a place usually crowded with people and buzzing with activity so empty and almost forgotten, except for the handful of pilots, stewardesses and other employees milling around, waiting for their flights.

“Dean…” Colette sighed as he led her into the lounge. Watching airplanes take off wasn’t really her definition of romantic, no matter how new they were and how infatuated her boyfriend was with the wonders of the Jet Age.

“This is it.” he told her, grinning widely. “This is where we first met.”

Colette furrowed her brows, trying to remember before her face lit up.

“My first day in the New York office.” she smiled, shaking her head at her younger self. She had been so flustered and lost; Bridget had been called for a last minute flight and not been able to show her around like they had originally planned.

“You were so busy looking over your checklist you walked right into me.” Dean added, making her blush slightly.

“Yes. I remember that.” Colette laughed. “You were the first semi-familiar face I saw here, everyone else was a stranger.”

“I spilled my coffee on your uniform and you had to scramble to get a new one for your first flight from here.”

She reached up and hid her face briefly, remembering what else had gone wrong that day and how happy she had been when she had finally been able to fall into bed in Rio at the end of her shift.

“Miss Havemeyer almost started breathing fire. And then my stockings were too dark and my lipstick wasn’t the right shade…” she trailed off, chuckling. “But you came to my rescue, insisting that it had been your fault. She didn’t think about arguing with a man, not even a co-pilot.”

Dean smirked, crinkling his nose a little. “Nah, that was just my natural charm at work. Women can’t resist it.” he teased, making her laugh again before she sobered.

“Why did you bring me here, Dean?” Colette asked, searching his face and getting confused at the anxiety in his eyes.

“Because you ruined my plans for Paris.” he shrugged, reaching for her hand with one of his as the other went into the pocket of his jacket and he dropped to one knee. Colette’s eyes widened as her heart rate accelerated.

“I know I have screwed up in the past.” Dean said. “And I know that I will never be half as popular as the Beatles. Or half as handsome as Robert Redford,” he continued, making her give a soft laugh as tears started welling up in her eyes. “But I also know that I love you, more than anyone else on this planet. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you, raise children with you and grow old together.” he said, opening the ring box. “So I guess what I’m saying is that, Colette Valois, will you make me the happiest man on earth and marry me?”

Colette could only nod, reaching up to wipe the tears away that were spilling over her cheeks.

“ _Oui_.” she breathed as Dean slid the ring on her finger before getting up and wrapping his arms around her, his lips brushing against hers as Colette wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close, unable to believe that this was really happening.

If someone had told her as a child that she, an orphan from the French countryside would end up as a Pan Am stewardess and fall in love with a pilot, she wouldn’t have believed a word of it. And if they had told her two years ago that she would one day agree to be Dean’s wife, she would have laughed in their face, after how much had been destroyed between them when Bridget returned. But here she was, in the lounge of the Pan Am hub, kissing her fiancé. And this time, she was sure that her happiness would not be taken away, but only increase.

_fin_


End file.
